The Moment That Changed My Life

Each life has defining moments. The moment that changed my life happened in a home for alcoholic women in 1976. I was in a discussion with Lois, another alcoholic from Brooklyn, and she was talking about her life. Midway through her talk, I felt intense warmth toward her and compassion flowed through me. The miracle was that I had had a very sheltered life and she had had a very tough life, but in that moment we were sisters and kindred spirits.

When I got up and walked outside, everything was different—trees, cars, the street—I saw everything with new eyes. It took me much searching to find out what had happened to me. In a book by William James entitled The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902), I found that I had had a radical conversion.

Did I answer a calling? I don’t know what happened to me except I knew that God had given me that compassion and love that I felt that day. I know that someone with an experience is never at the mercy of someone with an argument. From that day until today, I have tried to accept the guidance that God gives me and it has been the most amazing journey. I don’t believe that God does more for me now than He did before that day. The difference is that I now can see the daily miracles. “Once I was blind and now I see.”

Events That Enabled Me to See My Addiction

“We don’t receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.”
Marcel Proust

Three things happened that helped me to see my alcoholism. The first was that my father (who was a periodic alcoholic) had long periods of being dry. Yet when he returned to drinking, he was always in worse shape.

One night, he had a really bad night from drinking and I stayed up to try to help him. I now know that he was having the DTs. The next day, I knew that I never wanted to go through what he had.

The second thing happened when Jonathan Winters was on Johnny Carson’s show. Jonathan had quit drinking. Johnny insisted that Jonathan could have a little wine on Thanksgiving. Jonathan said, “No. You don’t understand. I’d have a little wine and then a little scotch, and suddenly it’s Tuesday.”

The third experience was one fall day, my husband and I had taken our daughter to a park. The two of them were having a great time on the swings. I was miserable–it was too hot for me–I was tired–We had been there too long–I was thirsty. Suddenly, I looked at them and realized that they had something that I didn’t have. I didn’t know what it was–but I wanted it.

The Beauty of Having Had Several Careers

Over a 40 year period, I, Kathy Berman, have worked in eight different careers including teacher, education specialist, insurance/investment sales, addiction counselor, marketing specialist, manager of parks, and manufactured home sales and author. The greatest gift from having had such diverse jobs is the reality that no one knows a job before they begin. We learn jobs on the job.

Several excellent sites offer guidance in finding your life work. The best advice I could give someone looking for career fulfillment is to do the job/career you would do for free. That job is your heart’s desire.
To help begin collecting data about our likes and dislikes. List the 10 aspects you feel comfortable with on a job. on’t be afraid to change or modify your list. Put it in a conspictuous place and check it over every day. Check out here for finding your life mission.
I have been reading Valerie Young’s site for 4 years now and still believe it to be one of the superior places to find your inner desires for career.
Another great resource helps us to look into the possibility of career counseling. Although I believe this inner search to find one’s heart desire is better done alone, I understand that someone may have the ability to motivate us on the search.

My Changemaker Labels-Short Version

These labels from the Changemaker Test are mine (Kathy Berman). In other posts, I write a complete explanation for each of my labels. These explanations are taken directly from the Changemaker Test Package to demonstrate the complexity of the label explanations.

A. NLP (neurolinguistic programming)–I am auditory. Only 10% of people tested are auditory. We are the ones who are always making you wait for certain words in a song. When I used to be dating, my poor friends had to hear the whole conversation of my current guy and me–”I said and then he said”–blah, blah, blah.

B. Birth order–First born. The first born believe that we were born to straighten everyone else out. So we do ruffle a few feathers. We are well-organized and reliable, but tend to be moody and perfectionistic.

C. My 2 family roles are: (1) the doing role (what I appear to be to the rest of the world)–family hero. Family heros are hard workers, successful, leaders but feel inadequate because nothing is ever good enough.

My second role–( 2) the being role (the role I choose when I am in trouble emotionally–scapegoat. Scapegoats are rebels who have a hard time learning conflict resolution. We tend to pin any trouble on someone else.

D. The two energies I use the most are: creative and logic.Logic people are organized, set goals and have a plan of action. Creative people are flexible in problem-solving and use a lot of imagination.

E. MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator). I am INTP. I am an introvert–intuitive–thinking–perceiving person. The main focus in my life is understanding and learning. “INTPs are logical, analytical and detached in their approach to life” according to Charles Martin at CAPT. Whole books have been written about each of these 16 types so more information is very available.